We give a lot of advice to men at this site. Sometimes, like Obsidian, we help women to not suck in the sack. But before you get to the bedroom advice, you ladies first have to find a man to call all your own. So this is for you ladies, to keep you from singing the “Where Have All The Good Men Gone” blues.

• 1. YOU DON’T LOOK YOUR BEST. This is the number one reason women fail with men. This is the main reason you are not getting interest from men and you’re not being approached. You need to put some effort into your physical appearance. But don’t despair. The bar is quite low. You don’t have to be a supermodel; it’s a falsehood that all men need Kate Upton. It all breaks down to:

• a. Keep your weight down. If you have excess weight, lose it. But this doesn’t mean you have to be a P90X superstar or look as buff as Jillian Michaels. If you’re within 10 to 15 pounds of your target weight, that will get the job done.
• b. Keep your hair long. Don’t chop off your hair. All other things being equal, an HB 5 or 6 looks better with long hair than with short hair. Long hair is one of the defining features of femininity. Use it to your advantage, ladies.
• c. Keep your makeup on. Wear some tastefully applied makeup that brings out your features without making you look like a clown. Go online or consult a cosmetologist for tips and pointers. And don’t go out in public without at least a little makeup. Don’t “slob out”.
• d. Dress in a feminine manner. Dresses and skirts. One or two-inch heels every so often. Nice earrings sometimes.

• 2. YOUR STANDARDS ARE TOO HIGH. You keep thinking that you’ll secure one of the superhot guys by putting out, or by setting your sights on them. If you haven’t locked down one of those men already, you won’t. You are not going to secure lasting relationships by focusing on men who are willing to have sex with you but who will never, ever offer you anything like commitment. You’ll never get a man to meet every single one of your 463 bullet points — not now, not ever. You need to get realistic, and that right soon. And that leads us to a close relative of this problem, which is….

• 3. YOU’RE A CAROUSEL RIDER/WATCHER. You’re slutting around; you’re promiscuous. The guys will love you for sex; but you’ll never get commitment from any of them, because you’re unwittingly devaluing yourself. You won’t get anywhere by pursuing men who want you only for sex. You want men who don’t want commitment. Putting out right away for the top guys probably won’t get you a lasting relationship with one of those guys (if it were going to work, it would have by now). Step off the carousel. And you won’t get anywhere by standing around being a spectator, wishing you were one of the women riding the pretty horsies. Don’t watch the carousel.

• 4. YOU’RE UNAPPROACHABLE. You’re putting out a “fuck you” vibe to every guy around you. Your bitch shields are up. You’re standoffish, you’re unkind, you have a sour disposition. You don’t know how to have a normal conversation with normal people. You cockblock; and you expect others to cockblock for you. You act as though you don’t want to be around people at all. If you’re unapproachable, the only men who will approach you are the cads and the players; who, if you let them, will do with you what they will.

• 5. YOU’RE TOO BUSY. How do you expect to find a man for a long term relationship if you are working 80 hours a week? It also doesn’t help if you are working a job and are in all sorts of extra activities that don’t involve putting you in close proximity to single men. If you have too much on your plate, you won’t be able to meet men, much less forge a relationship with one. You need to be available for a relationship, meaning you have the time to put into one.

And for the eleventy billionth time: Men are NOT attracted to your job, your salary, your credentials, your professional achievements, or your accomplishments. Burnishing your curriculum vitae will not help you one iota in finding a man for a lasting relationship. Adding initials after your name denoting advanced degrees or certifications will not help you one iota in finding a man for a lasting relationship.

Be nice.

Be pretty.

Don’t get fat.

Be available.